We as humans crave love. That blinding, show-stopping love. While some have sworn off love or don’t believe in it, we are chemically programmed to crave it. No seriously, have you ever heard of oxytocin, dopamine, or serotonin? Those are the actual chemicals in our brains that produce and make us crave love. I’m not saying there’s only one type of love; I actually believe there are multiple. Love also doesn’t always consist of traditional manners. There are many ways to love such as unconditional love, love of convenience, lust, or infatuation.

Unconditional love is one of the most innocent and intense types of love. When people unconditionally love someone they love them despite flaws, and without judgment. This type of love isn’t always romantic. It can be platonic, the way we love our best friends or parents, or how our family loves us. The way you feel when you haven’t seen your pet in a long time and you finally get to see them. I was lucky enough to experience unconditional love from my adoptive mother. Lord knows, the two of us could yell at each other and bicker to the break of dawn. However, even if we had the biggest fight in the world, we could sit and watch Hallmark movies after, and laugh as if nothing had happened. She could be so angry with me but I always knew, no matter what, she would be there for me because our love is unconditional. This type of love is the truest form of love. When love is unconditional there are no conditions to it, hence the name.

While certain love is unconditional, another type is one based on convenience. Once again this type of love that doesn’t have to be romantic. It could be kids who only call their great- grandma twice a month to ask for $20; sure they love her but would they call her without that incentive? Probably not. Or if you’re married to someone for years and you’ve never worked but they always have, there’s love there, of course, but it’s also convenient. I know that may not

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sound like love but love isn’t always the way we want it to be. But, it doesn’t have to be materialistic. It may be as simple as dating someone; you really love them and you’ve loved them for years, but there’s no spark anymore. You stay with that person because it’s convenient. When I was growing up, my aunt had this boyfriend; he was a great guy but they weren’t always a great couple. They started out good, but after a few years and them living together they just didn’t get along that well anymore. They stayed living together and with each other for a few more years because it was convenient. Any of that is a love based on convenience.

Is lust a form of love? That’s the million-dollar question. I truly believe it is. This type of love cannot be platonic. This love is one filled with desire and sensuality. A taste for something. Lust is arguably a form of love. If you’re lusting for something you must love it, or want it enough to correlate love, Right? Many types of love derive from lust. All types of love develop from an initial attraction, a lust for someone or something. Typically you lust for things such as money, sexuality, or simply affection. I read this book once, “Why Men Love B******” In this book, the author talks deeply about the thrill we all get from the chase. That thrill omits the same chemicals that we produce when we feel love. Similar to how someone may be completely enamored by someone’s appearance and want them, but they’ve never actually had a conversation with them. If we react to lust the same as love, it is love. If not logically, chemically. To me, lust equates to when prisoners serve long sentences; they say it’s the most lonely place and they’re just lusting for human touch. Even something as innocent as a hug or even sometimes just kindness, I believe lust is love for that reason. You can be so unconditionally in love with a person and still lust for them.

The other argued love type, would be infatuation. Infatuation is very similar to lust. They’re both a certain desire. However, infatuation is more of an obsession, a powerful type of love. It’s similar to that crush you had in middle school, and how you were so sure that they were

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the one and you guys were so in love just to think the same of someone else the next week. Max was the first time I was ever infatuated with someone. We would leave notes on the inside of each other’s desks when we would switch classes and we even kissed one time behind the basketball court. We swore we were in love and who knows maybe we were. That would depend on whether you consider infatuation a true form of love, which I do. Max and I don’t talk anymore and haven’t since our middle school-infatuated version of a relationship. Infatuation is argued to not be real love because of its short lifespan. But, in that short life span are some of the most intense feelings. While I could see how this may not be considered true love, it definitely is a type of love. You need those short passionate loves to truly know what a real one is supposed to feel like.

Overall, the ways we love is a very complex thing. Since every person is different, so are the ways of loving. There are certain fundamentals that stay the same when it comes to love. These being unconditional love, convince-based love, lust, and infatuation. Love might not always be the fairytale our parents read to us or the romcom we watched on T.V. but it’s out there, because like I told you before, we are chemically programmed to crave it. Because as Gandhi once said, “ Where there is love there is life.”